When Safety Becomes a Lie: The Hidden Abuse in Foster Homes

 Foster care is supposed to be a place of healing and safety—a new start for kids who’ve already faced more than most adults could handle.

But sometimes, the same system that’s meant to protect us ends up putting us into the hands of people who use discipline as a cover for cruelty.

One day, I tried to put on my jacket before heading outside.
It wasn’t snowing or dangerously cold—but it was cold enough that my skin felt it. I only had on an undershirt, and it was clearly uncomfortable.

But my foster mom looked at me and said:

“No. Just go out like that.”

She didn’t forget my jacket.
She didn’t overlook it.
She denied it—on purpose—as a form of punishment.

She left me out there for 15 minutes, and this wasn’t some one-time incident. It happened multiple times, both before and after that day.

This wasn’t about teaching me right from wrong.
It was about making a point—one that used discomfort, control, and silence as tools.
She wanted to show me who had the power. That I had no say. That even something as small as trying to stay warm could be taken away in the name of “discipline.”

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And this is what people overlook about foster care abuse:

• It isn’t always loud.

• It isn’t always violent.

• But it is always damaging.

Foster kids like me are often told we should be grateful—just for having a roof and a meal. But basic survival isn’t the same as being cared for.

Being left out in the cold as discipline isn’t parenting. It’s abuse.

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I didn’t speak up back then.
But I’m speaking now.
Because no child should be punished with cold.
No child should be controlled through discomfort.
And no child should be raised in a system that calls that “care.”

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This is Foster Truths. This is my truth. And I’ll keep telling it until no foster youth has to suffer in silence again.
— Colton Parrett